The Key to Breakthrough

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me from the words of my groaning? Oh my God, I cry by day but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are Holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel." Psalm 22:3

If you were to be honest with yourself, you would admit that there have been times in your life when you waited for an answer from the Lord longer than you expected to wait. If you were to be really honest with yourself, you would admit that there were times in the waiting when you wanted to pull a David and shout to the heavens "Um, hey God its me... you remember me? Well I've been trying to get in touch with you for a few weeks and I was just wondering... where are you?" On top of our own doubts and insecurities, the enemy has a way of showing up in the critical moments and popping questions like...

"If your God is the provider he says he is, why can't you find a job?"

"If your God is really a healer, why have you been sick for so long with no cure?"

"If your God is a God of peace, where's that comfort you've been looking for?"

... and more times than not, we fall for it. The job we've been looking for doesn't open right away so we mentally cut out the portions of scripture that point to God as the provider. The pain doesn't subside when we think it should so we mentally throw out the passages on healing. Instead of comfort, fear increases in our hearts and minds so we discredit the Word on the issue of peace. Now even more than before, we feel forsaken by God.

Unfortunately, many of us stop here. We only read the first half of Psalm 22:3. All we hear David say is "My God, my God why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from the words of my groaning? Oh my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest." Our ugly hearts rise up within us and say "Yeah! That's right David. Tell Him how we feel!" but we never stop to consider the second half of the verse. See David knew the key to breakthrough. He understood how to overcome his crisis. He follows up the expression of his feelings with a declaration of who God really is. "YET YOU ARE HOLY. Enthroned on the PRAISES of Israel." Worship... the key to overcoming crisis.

Two weeks ago, I was laying in a hospital feeling slightly less than awesome. I found myself crying out to God, praying fervently to feel better. After day 5, I was starting to wonder if the healing was ever going to come. I didn't feel like I was being healed at all! I could barely walk without feeling as though I was going to pass out on the floor. Then the enemy showed up with his famous line. "If your God is who he says he is..."  In that moment I knew. I knew I had to make the choice to either allow my circumstances to destroy my faith or allow my worship to take care of my circumstances. I could have let my flesh and spirit meet half way and worshipped God for the things I could see in the moment, but I chose to go all the way.

"God I worship you as the One who heals me. If I never, ever feel better, I know you are who you say you are. If this were to never pass I would still shout it from the rooftops that you are the God who heals."

Needless to say, I am not in the hospital anymore. In fact, I am feeling well enough to be write this blog from somewhere other than my bed. My breakthrough came when I chose the truth over my feelings. My breakthrough came when I worshipped God for who He really is and not for who my circumstances painted Him to be. What area of your life could use a breakthrough? If it's your finances, worship your God who provides. If it's your children, worship your God who holds the wisdom of a perfect father. If it's your heart full of fear, worship your God who IS peace. The breakthrough is coming... I promise.

Unexpected Lessons

In my fever-ridden mind, I imagine that my day 4 in the hospital feels a little bit like the Israelites' year 4 in the desert. (That's probably an exaggeration on my part, but hey- I'm being transparent.) The Israelites had a tendency to be whiny, and they had a terrible case of short-term memory loss. We read their story and think, "What is wrong with these people? Stop complaining and start walking!" As critical as I can be of them, I imagine had I been there I wouldn't be the best traveling companion either. There was, however, a purpose for the Israelite's extended journey. The Lord used their detour to refine and reshape them. He used their time in the wilderness to retrain their way of thinking and reteach them to depend on Him as their source. And just like the children of Israel walked into the Promised Land having learned some unexpected lessons, I can see that I will be walking out of this hospital saying the same. This blog gives me an opportunity to record what I'm learning, and hopefully gives you an opportunity to learn these lessons without living them (or at lease gives you a head-start on the lesson).

Lesson 1: Midnight Worship Session

Acts 16:25-26 Along about midnight, Paul and Silas were at prayer and singing a robust hymn to God. The other prisoners couldn’t believe their ears. Then, without warning, a huge earthquake! The jailhouse tottered, every door flew open, all the prisoners were loose.

After about day 2, a hospital room seems to transform into more of a jail cell than a place of rest. This was the only thought running through my head Thursday night as I lay wide awake waiting for the alarm on my IV machine to stop ringing in my ear. The nurse finally came in my room to fix the tube and I was left alone in the silence... feeling more miserable than grateful for sure. That's when the Holy Spirit reminded me of my good friends Paul and Silas. These guys have counseled me through situations more than once, and laying in the hospital bed, I could imagine them laying on the cold, hard floor of the Macedonian prison. I also imagined how that was a million times worse than my big room in this clean, air-conditioned, American hospital... I was feeling better already. Paul and Silas not only had a good attitude in that cold prison cell, but they also had the right mindset. They had hearts that said "even in the midst of our darkest situations we are going to worship because we are thankful for Who God Is" and that's exactly what they did. So that's exactly what I did. I worshipped myself to sleep (right after I apologized to the Lord for not having done so sooner) and I will continue to worship until I feel the earthquake and watch the doors swing open. And you know what? I think I'll worship after that happens, too.

Lesson 2: A Sure Cure for Self-Pity

One thing about being in any kind of hospital or doctor's office long-term is that you can start to feel really sorry for yourself. You could be the healthiest person in the whole place, but you're not thinking about that. You're thinking about all of the people on the outside who are free to sleep in their own beds at night... all the people eating real food... all the people who get to go outdoors whenever they please. It seems to be human nature to dwell on what's wrong in your life instead of how blessed you are. Right before I got admitted on Wednesday, I was watching Pastor Steve Riggle preach online at Gateway. We have known Steve and Becky for years, in fact I refer to them as Uncle Steve and Aunt Becky, but I had never really heard them tell their whole story. Years ago, Steve and Becky were overseas on a mission trip when they were taken hostage by escaping inmates in a local prison. Long story short, Steve was viciously stabbed in major organs 5 times by one of the prisoners and Becky lost two inches of her femur when the prison guard opened fire on them. I was listening to this story in amazement of the fact that 1. Steve and Becky were still alive after suffering such injuries 2. Steve and Becky were still alive after receiving months of medical attention overseas where there was high risk of infection and exposure to things we don't even want to think about and 3. Not one time laying in that hospital overseas did they feel sorry for themselves, but they remained the most grateful people I have met. I have thought about the Riggle's more than once these past few days. If they could find a way to be so free from the crippling effects of self-pity, I can surely do the same. But what is the secret? Paul says in Philippians "I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." What's the sure cure for self-pity? Dwelling not on your circumstances but on the One who supplies everything that we need and takes delight in doing it.


Lesson 3: A Line to the Heart
Yesterday I learned what a pick line is. After trying numerous times to get the IV back in my arm, the nurse told me they were going to call in a specialist to install a tube from my arm directly to my heart so that I could get the medicine I needed into my blood stream. She proceeded to tell me that I was going to be awake during this little procedure. That didn't really sound like something I was ready to volunteer for, but it didn't sound like I really had a choice. With all of my medical wisdom, I started searching my arms to find a vein I thought they could retry the IV in. I'd point to one of the blue lines and say "what about this one?" only to hear her explain to me that it wasn't the right kind of vein and the medicine wouldn't get where they needed it to go. Besides, she told me with the pick line in, there was a chance I could go home earlier and have home healthcare come and do the IV from the comfort of my own room. I knew that it was important to have the line and I knew if I wanted to get better, I really didn't have a choice. After what felt like hours of anticipation, the specialist arrived. He explained exactly what he was going to do and after numbing my arm, he began to bore a hole through the muscle and tissue so he could find the vein he needed. I can't say I was in a ton of pain since my arm had been numbed, but I can tell you that I haven't feel that much discomfort in a long time. There was no doubt in my mind that the doctor had just pushed his way three inches into tissue and muscle in order to gain the needed access to my heart. Aha! There it was... lesson number three. Oh how uncomfortable it is when the Lord is digging His way to where he needs to be, but oh how necessary and beneficial it is in the end. The pick line has been in for 24 hours now and I am so glad I trusted the specialist to put it in. It looks downright ugly, and I can feel the uncomfortable feeling you get from a healing wound, but the medicine is getting in my system, and the infection is dying. I can remember countless times that the Lord has had to tear things down in my life in order to heal me. Neither the tearing nor the healing process were comfortable, but praise God the healing came. 

The Anointing

"What is the anointing of God? It is that divine energy that comes upon you and separates you from yourself and fills you with His power! As a result, when you speak, it is like God speaking…and when you act, it is like God acting." -Oral Roberts

I was hesitant to write a blog titled "the anointing" because I know that people from all different backgrounds read my posts, so I try to keep them practical and simple so that they can be easily understood and applicable to everyone who reads them. But I also promised when I started this blog that I would be faithful to share with you what I am learning in my own life, so here it is.

I included the quote from Oral Roberts at the top of this post in order to give us a clear meaning of what it is to be anointed. Unfortunately, church leaders have done a great job of skewing what people perceive this term to mean. Now days, when we hear the term "anointing" we associate it with self-assigned titles that ministers use in order to boost their egos and promote themselves as men and women  working on behalf of God. The irony in this, however, is that the anointing is actually the absence of oneself. Real, authentic anointing comes when all you are is an empty vessel and your self is not inhabiting any part of you.

I spoke two weeks ago now at a women's conference in Brenham, Tx. It was one of the most awesome speaking experiences I have ever had. Usually when I get up to deliver a message, it takes me about 5 minutes to get my body to relax and get my spirit to engage with my mind. Not this weekend, however. As soon as I hit the floor for the first time on Friday night, the Lord was doing all of the talking. I literally walked around up front with a microphone and just listened to God deliver the message. In that moment, I was experiencing the anointing. And let me tell you, that message was a whole lot better than it would have been if I would have gotten up there and shared my own thoughts and opinions. I was an empty vessel, being inhabited by God, allowing Him to use me to say what He needed to say.  Is that how I am all the time? No, of course not. There are things that I say that are obviously coming from Alexis and not God, and it is obvious to everyone around me when that's the case.

But wouldn't everyone appreciate it if I were more often speaking the heart of the Father and not my own? If I were more often walking out in the anointing? Yes, the answer to that question is yes. So how does someone reach that point? I think John sums it up pretty well when he says "I must decrease so he may increase." It all goes along with the breaking I wrote about a few days ago. As the Lord refines us and retrains us, he is pouring the "us" out of us so that we can be filled with more "Him." As time goes on and the breaking process continues, there is more and more room for Him. That means more and more of His message; more and more of His heart. It's all a process that has nothing to do with us and everything to do with God. Our sole role in it is our unconditional surrender of ourselves to be emptied and used by Him.

Broken to be Used by God

broken |ˈbrōkən| [no obj. ] (of a person's emotional strength) give way: tame or train (a horse).

Have you ever seen a wild horse running thorough a meadow, completely free to do as it pleases? It's a beautiful sight to see, unless of course you need to make a long journey and horseback is the only way to get there. In that moment, even more beautiful than a horse in the wild is a horse in a stable, saddled-up and ready to go. In fact, the only thing that wild horses are good for is to look at. You can't use them for work, and you certainly can't use them for transportation. A useful horse is a broken one. It sounds kind of harsh. To a horse it probably sounds like the end of their freedom, the end of their glory days. 

But pretend with me for a moment that horses can reason and think logically. Now, imagine that there is a horse in a meadow somewhere that is completely untamed, free to roam the land and do as it pleases. It has no real purpose, but wanders around day to day searching for something new to indulge itself in. One day a man and his companions approach this horse, over take it, and despite all of its kicking and bucking, manage to get it into a secure stable in the near-by town. Every day the man works with the horse to break it in and train it for a rider, and though the he is as kind and as gentle as possible, the horse is absolutely miserable about it! He dreams of the days when he was galloping through the fields free to do as he pleased, overlooking, of course, the fact that those days lacked purpose. Day by day, the will of the horse is being broken, until one day he is finally ready to be ridden. The man walks into the stable early that morning as he did every day, but this day something was different about the man's appearance. Instead of his usual attire of work clothes, boots, and riding gloves, he is adorned in the attire of a king. After all, he is in fact the king. Another thing that differs about this day is the way that the man saddles up the horse. Instead of the usual saddle that is placed on it's back for training, the man places a beautifully embroidered saddle on the horse and places a bit of gold in the horse's mouth. The king then mounts the horse and parades it through the street as the people cheer and throw petals for it's feet to tread on. The king then leads the horse out of the city and into the camp where the other soldiers are waiting, ready for battle. The horse in that moment realizes that he has been given the most noble task of any other in the land. He is the King's horse and has the honor of leading Him into the battle. Wandering aimlessly through the fields no longer appeals to this horse. There could be no greater satisfaction found than the satisfaction that comes from being the King's. Now he knows true freedom- the ability to wholeheartedly serve the King.

So, where are you? Maybe you are in the field, roaming around aimlessly with no purpose, holding on to a false definition of freedom. I, however, find myself in a season of being in the stable, in a season of being broken. The King comes in and meets with me daily, retraining me that I may be used by Him. Most days it hurts. He is kind and gentle, but He applies the pressure necessary that I may be changed and transformed into who He needs me to be. Some days I find my flesh dreaming about the times when I was free to do as I pleased, overlooking, of course, the fact that those days lacked purpose. Forgetting, of course, that those days only provided temporary fulfillment. In the process of being broken, there are days when I feel completely exhausted as if one more ounce of pressure will not only break me, but completely destroy me. But then I remember that that is the old horse talking. The horse that didn't understand that the King's desire isn't to destroy me by any means. He desires only that I be in a place where I will know true satisfaction and freedom. A place where I am free to respond to Him wholly as the person He has created me to be.

Tragedy

It inflicts pain on the hearts of those affected and stirs up fear in the heart of the bystander. It has the potential to keep a mother awake at night and leave a father grieving for days. It doesn’t make sense to most and causes all to raise questions. Tragedy. In the midst of tragedy, amongst the hurt, and grief, and tears we hear the question raised “why?” Why did this happen? Why was this allowed to happen? Brokenness. We live in a broken world, a world where the light is too often crowded out by the darkness. We live in a world where people have been given free-will and if that free-will is not guided by Truth, it ultimately brings destruction. It hurts me to hear people question God, to place the blame on his head, to question His love for and kindness toward His people. 

The Lord did not cause a broken man to open fire and take the lives of innocent children. The Lord does not cause children in third-world countries to go to sleep hungry at night as their parents die from AIDS. The Lord did not cause tragedy in your family. These things are all a result of humanity’s decision to walk away from the Truth. Man decided that he was a better fit for the position of god in his own life, and this is the result. Not only does God not cause tragedy, but He also offers hope—a hope that a heartbroken mother, grieving father, starving child, or dying victim can find nowhere else. It is hope for a better way of life where even in the darkest of storms, you can have peace that surpasses all understanding. It is a life where in a moment of grief, you can experience a joy that consumes all sorrow. In fact, it is because of a tragedy that this hope is ours for the having. It was because of the murder of an innocent man—someone’s son, someone’s friend—that we have a reason to hope. 

The truth is that in our darkest hour, when we were farthest away from Him, when we had decided that we had no need for Him, God humbled Himself and became a man, being obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. he died to overcome death for us and along with that, took away its sting. The greatest part is that even death couldn't hold Him down, and He is no longer dead, but lives and freely extends that offer of real life to us-- to you-- as well. The price has been paid, all that it requires of you is to recognize your need for a savior, understand that your salvation is found in Jesus, and then begin to walk out everyday with God in His rightful place of kingship in your life. 

Self- Centered Christianity

What is the purpose of our Christianity? What is the purpose of our relationship with God? Is it for our benefit? For our gain? So that we may be fulfilled? So that we may walk around and say all is well? So that when we are sad we may have joy? Or that when we are sick we may be made well? So that we have financial stability? So that we may have peace in the midst of a storm? So that we may be comforted in times of great sorrow? So that we can do well for ourselves and make our names great?

Because that is how we act. That is the impression we give when we pitch Christianity like a door-to-door cutlery salesman. That is the impression we give when we become offended by God in times when our lives aren't going as we had hoped or imagined. That is the attitude we take when we carry an air of entitlement and constantly strive to gain. Our prayers have become solely "God I need...God give me... Lord show me..." They have become full of favors asked of God on our own behalf.

Why are our prayers not "God there is a place where your name is not worshiped. Would your will be done and your fame be known there that you may receive glory." When is the last time that I praised God simply so He would receive His due glory and didn't end my prayer with a request or approach it with a selfish motive?

What is the purpose of my Christianity? What is the purpose of my relationship with God? Was I not created solely to love Him? Solely to bring Him glory? Everything else is a benefit, an overflow of a relationship with the creator (Matthew 6:33). But it is not the purpose. The purpose is His glory and His glory alone. Why spend time in the Word? To cultivate a passion to bring Him glory, to remind ourselves that He deserves it, to understand the richness of the Gospel and our mandate to share it so that others may bring Him glory.

No more entering worship hoping to get an experience out of it for ourselves. No more waiting for our favorite song to be sung before we really dial in. That is not worship, church. That is idolatry, placing ourselves and our own glory on the pedestal of our hearts.

No more work of our hands backed by a self-seeking heart. No more effort to look good for our gain. No more words spoken for the purpose of flaunting knowledge. It is all worthless... chaff just waiting to be burned up by the fire.

No more energy wasted, affection misplaced, or focus taken away. I'm done with myself. Myself hangs on that cross. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.

Faith for the sake of personal gain is no faith at all.

Calling Down the Kingdom

I am probably the worst blogger on the face of the earth. Since my first post, I have traveled overseas, seen miraculous healings, lost my grandfather, said goodbye to ninety-five percent of my friends, and said hello to two-hundred new ones. None of which I will be blogging about today. Today something burns even hotter on my heart. There is one overriding thing that the Lord has been teaching me about lately-- Calling down the Kingdom.

And He said to them, when you pray, say: "Our Father who is in heaven, your name is Holy. Let your kingdom come and your will be done here on earth just as it is in Heaven." (Luke 11:2)

Why is this so important? Why are we asked to pray for the Kingdom to come and the Lord's will to be done? If something is God's will, won't it happen anyway?

In the beginning, God gave authority to man.

“God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'" Genesis 1:28

However, man gave that authority over to the enemy when he sinned; you are a slave to whatever you obey. Now the enemy was called the Prince of this World (John 14:30).

Thankfully, in an effort to save the day, Jesus humbled himself and came as a man to take back the authority that was rightfully ours.

“All authority in Heaven and on earth has been given to me.” Matthew 28:18

Jesus now had authority in earth not because He was the Son of God, but because He was the Son of Man, a human. But then, in his incomprehensible grace, He turned that authority back over to us.

"Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you." Luke 10:19

God wants a man to agree with Him, to call down his Kingdom, to ask for His will to be done, because man has authority on this earth. So what does calling down the kingdom look like? 

“Finally, brothers pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you.” 1 Thessalonians 3:1

“Ask the Lord of the Harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest fields.” Matthew 9:38

It's all about the Gospel. Calling down the Kingdom looks like us so passionately wanting the name of Jesus to be praised by every tribe and every tongue that we find ourselves on our knees daily asking for the redemption and salvation of all the people on the earth... Asking the Lord to remove every obstacle and every hindrance that prohibits His name from being worshiped... Asking the Lord to move on the hearts of his people to go into all the world and proclaim the truth of what Jesus has done. This is the mission for which we were called; the mission for which we were chosen.