Unexpected Lessons Part 2

A year and a half ago, I wrote a blog from my hospital bed called Unexpected Lessons (if you've never read it, you can find it here). I wrote about the lessons that I was learning in the midst of a very uncomfortable time of my life when my health had taken an unexpected turn for the worst, and I was battling a serious infection in my body called pseudomonas. A month after that blog was written, I found myself in the heart of Peru doing my very favorite thing, preaching the Gospel. Jesus had used an intense stream of antibiotics to fully wipe out the infection and I was allowed to travel to my favorite place on earth and introduce many people to my Jesus. While in Peru, I became very sick. Thinking it was a relapse of the pseudomonas and after a near collapse in the middle of Lima, I was taken to a hospital nearby where a very capable Peruvian physician found a stone in my gallbladder that was dangerously close to entering my liver. I flew home with my team a week later and had emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder along with the stone, then I left for ORU two weeks later.

Since I arrived at ORU a year and a half ago, I have been blessed with great health. I have not had any relapses of the pseudomonas nor have I had any major issues as a result of my cholecystectomy. A little over a week ago, another opportunity for unexpected lessons appeared in the form of neuropathy. I went to sleep Wednesday night feeling like I had lost circulation in my feet and legs. I figured I had just gotten overly chilled in the freezing Tulsa weather, and my feet and legs were warming up a little slower than usual. Thursday morning I woke up and I felt like I had fallen asleep in a colony of fire ants. The pain in my feet and legs brought me to tears and I only fought my way through two classes before I had to go to Urgent Care to hopefully get a little relief. They told me there that they were clueless as to what could be going on in someone of my age and my health, prescribed some steroids probably just to make me feel better in my own mind, and sent me home. By 7pm that night, we were on our way to the emergency room with sever pain in my legs and up my back. After a long, LONG night, I was sent home on pain medication with a diagnosis of neuropathy.

Neuropathy is common in diabetics, alcoholics, people over the age of 70, or people exposed to toxins. I have low blood sugar, never consume alcohol, am a young 20 years of age, and tested negative for toxins in my system. The doctor recognized all of these factors and decided the best thing they could do would be to medicate my pain and continue to refer me out until someone could determine what was wrong with me. After a doctor's appointment this past Tuesday in which I tried to explain to the doctor that my pain was not improving, not much has changed in respect to earthly answers. She looked me over, ran a couple of basic tests, scratched her head, referred me to a neurologist, and prescribed me a new medication used to treat the basic symptoms of neuropathy. This new medication might be my biggest road block right now, as I fight to write this blog in complete sentences without losing my train of thought or coming up short for words. I am exchanging a few levels of pain for a serious brain freeze while my brain adjusts to the neurological effects of the medication.

Before you write me off as totally helpless or write this blog off as super depressing, let me just say that I didn't give you a rundown of my medical history in order that one of you could hopefully diagnose me, find a cure, or feel really, really sorry for me! Jesus is already working to heal me, and sympathy could be better redirected to people who are suffering a million times worse than I have been. I am not discouraged, frightened, frustrated, or feeling hopeless in any sense. I write this post with a smile on my face because I am about to share with you everything that I have been learning lately.

1. Jesus is always good. Seriously friends! Never do I know Jesus to be more of a healer, more faithful, or more beautiful than in times like these. I am so thankful for the opportunity to deal with hard things because they always reaffirm who I have believed Jesus to be all along. When I wake up in the morning and I just can't get my mind to wake up because of the medication, Jesus reminds me that he is renewing my mind and I get so much more accomplished that day than I could have on my own. When I take a few steps and feel the fire ants in my feet, Jesus carries me further than I could have gone on my own. When I feel like no one quite gets what is going on or that I will never get any answers, Jesus reminds me that he knows pain more deeply than I ever will and that nothing is hidden from him.

2. Job was onto something. I am not in any way comparing my trials to those of Job. Job had it really, really bad. He lost everything, and all I have lost is a little physical comfort and a little brain power for a temporary period of time. However, Job did something that I am training myself in these moments to do-- praising God just because He's God and He deserves it anyways. If I look at myself too long, like Job I am faced with the temptation of questioning in my heart God's goodness, but if I cast my eyes on the face of Jesus, I can keep worshiping my way through it all.

3. Nothing is forever. I don't plan on suffering for forever. I really do believe the end to this whole episode is in the very near future. But even if it wasn't, I know it's not going to last forever. At the end of my life I will stand before God and the pain and struggle won't even be a distant memory in my mind. Nothing is forever.

4. Tiny problems can cause a lot of damage, so care for the small things. Let me tell you about nerves for a second. They're usually quiet, unconsidered by their owners, and faithful to do their intended duties. However, if something goes remotely wrong with them, pain is on its way. If you do not take care of your body or you put yourself at risk in some known or unknown way of damaging your nerves, you are going to pay for it later. It's a lot like the "small things" in our walk with Jesus. There are so many things that go unconsidered: quality time in the presence of God, faithfulness and discipline to train our hearts and minds in the Word, or the fulfillment of our purpose on a daily basis. These things can go on neglected, but not for long before the pain comes. We must be careful to care for even the smallest aspects of our spiritual lives so that we can be whole and complete lacking nothing.

Dear friends, thank you for all of your prayers and words of encouragement. You all have been the hands, feet, and mouth piece of Jesus in a very precious time of my life. Grace and peace to every one of you.