Do you ever think about the words you sing when you worship? I mean REALLY think about them? I will be the first to admit that I have made it through entire worship sets where I sung every word of every song completely in vain. I have sung "break my heart for what breaks yours" as I put up iron-clad walls to protect my heart. I have sung "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders" without any intention of actually following him into an uncomfortable situation. Last night I sang "I surrender" as I clung so tightly to things that He was asking me to lay at His feet.
For weeks I have been walking around with my fingers in my ears, not wanting to listen to what the Lord was saying to me. I knew He was calling me to surrender everything for the sake of following Him, but I didn't want to hear His voice. I knew that the moment I heard Him the only acceptable response on my part would be total obedience, and I just wasn't willing to put my heart on the altar. In all honesty, I had created for myself an idol. The truth is that anything in our lives that we would not let go of in a split second for the sake of the Lord is an idol. We cannot let anything hold so much of our affection that we would chose to be disobedient in order to retain it. When I realized there was something I was unwilling to give up, I knew that's what I had to do.
It has never hurt so badly to give up something for the Kingdom. As I laid down the thing I loved on the altar, I thought of Abraham's journey up the mountain to sacrifice his son Isaac. For years God promised Abraham a son, and now He was asking him to give that promise away. I can imagine how Abraham felt as he led Isaac up that mountain. I'm sure his stomach was in knots, his heart was breaking with each step, and he felt like he was living in a bad dream. But he was willing. Abraham's love for and devotion to God was even greater than the love he had for his son, so he was obedient. He was obedient and God was faithful. God stopped Abraham at the very last moment and provided an alternate sacrifice. I'm not sure my story will turn out the same way. My heart longs for an ending where God restores the very thing He asked me to lay down, but that's not where my hope lies. My hope is in the fact that my God is faithful. He does not do things to be mean or hurtful, but simply because He loves me. He is faithful to keep that which I have entrusted to Him and I have entrusted Him with everything.
When I laid everything I had at the feet of Jesus, I heard His voice again. It is the sweetest voice I know. He calls me to go higher, to run faster, and to pursue harder than I ever have before. I refuse to let this season be in vain. In the midst of a time when I could focus on loss, when I could focus on the pain that remains in my heart from the surgery that God performed last night, I choose instead to set my eyes on Jesus. I choose to renew my mind with the Word. I choose to grow and be molded into who He created me to be. There is so much hope. There is so much peace. There is so much love in the arms of my Maker.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Monday, November 4, 2013
Just Show Me Jesus
College is hard. It's even harder when you spend the first two years muddling through classes you feel you are never going to need. I have heard countless students inform their professor under their breath that they are "never going to use this." I was thinking this exact thing as I sat through an hour of my Intro to Physical Science class this morning listening to my professor explain nuclear physics.
Whether you have experienced this on a college level, or whether you have experienced this in a sphere outside of academics, I think we can all admit that life demands the completion of seemingly useless tasks that are simply painful to complete. Teachers ask Theology majors to memorize the periodic table, bosses ask employees to do what seems like busy work, mothers pick up after their children only to turn around five minutes later to find a colossal mess, fathers work ten or twelve hour shifts only to go home and wake up the next day to do it all over again. If we aren't careful to protect our hearts and attitudes, in the midst of the monotonous and the mundane, life can become really miserable really fast.
So what's the fix? Clearly we can't avoid the tasks that we are required to complete in order to graduate school, keep our jobs, provide for our families, or maintain an inhabitable environment. However, we can give them purpose. As I was sitting in the lecture this morning trying to wrap my mind around radioactive isotopes and atomic masses of unstable elements, this thought crossed my mind: "If I could just find Jesus in this, I know this would be more bearable." I am passionate about Jesus. If you mention His name to me, be prepared to sit down and talk for hours about how awesome He is. I have reached a point in my life where it is easy for me to wake up early to be with Jesus. It is easy for me to study for my Evangelism class or write a paper for my Bible Lit class because I enjoy getting to know Him through these things. What if I could find a way to get to know Him through my Physical Science class, too? What if you could see Jesus in the busy work at your job? What if cleaning your house for the third time this week was a way that you encountered Jesus? What if all ten or twelve hours of your work day were hours spent gazing on His face? It would really revolutionize everything.
This isn't something that is going to necessarily be easy. Training yourself to see Jesus in your everyday, less-than-exciting schedule is something that you are going to have to work at. It is also something He is willing to help you with. I promise that if you begin each day, each task, asking Jesus to reveal Himself to you in the midst of it, He will do it. As I sat in class and absorbed the lecture with a heart that said "Show me Jesus," I found him. I was able to see the intricate design of our world that points to an all-powerful creator God. I was reintroduced to a God who is so big, yet cares so deeply about the smallest details of our lives. Not only did science become bearable in that moment, but it gave me another opportunity to worship my Jesus. Look for Him in everything. Let the most undesirable circumstances in your life show you Jesus.
Whether you have experienced this on a college level, or whether you have experienced this in a sphere outside of academics, I think we can all admit that life demands the completion of seemingly useless tasks that are simply painful to complete. Teachers ask Theology majors to memorize the periodic table, bosses ask employees to do what seems like busy work, mothers pick up after their children only to turn around five minutes later to find a colossal mess, fathers work ten or twelve hour shifts only to go home and wake up the next day to do it all over again. If we aren't careful to protect our hearts and attitudes, in the midst of the monotonous and the mundane, life can become really miserable really fast.
So what's the fix? Clearly we can't avoid the tasks that we are required to complete in order to graduate school, keep our jobs, provide for our families, or maintain an inhabitable environment. However, we can give them purpose. As I was sitting in the lecture this morning trying to wrap my mind around radioactive isotopes and atomic masses of unstable elements, this thought crossed my mind: "If I could just find Jesus in this, I know this would be more bearable." I am passionate about Jesus. If you mention His name to me, be prepared to sit down and talk for hours about how awesome He is. I have reached a point in my life where it is easy for me to wake up early to be with Jesus. It is easy for me to study for my Evangelism class or write a paper for my Bible Lit class because I enjoy getting to know Him through these things. What if I could find a way to get to know Him through my Physical Science class, too? What if you could see Jesus in the busy work at your job? What if cleaning your house for the third time this week was a way that you encountered Jesus? What if all ten or twelve hours of your work day were hours spent gazing on His face? It would really revolutionize everything.
This isn't something that is going to necessarily be easy. Training yourself to see Jesus in your everyday, less-than-exciting schedule is something that you are going to have to work at. It is also something He is willing to help you with. I promise that if you begin each day, each task, asking Jesus to reveal Himself to you in the midst of it, He will do it. As I sat in class and absorbed the lecture with a heart that said "Show me Jesus," I found him. I was able to see the intricate design of our world that points to an all-powerful creator God. I was reintroduced to a God who is so big, yet cares so deeply about the smallest details of our lives. Not only did science become bearable in that moment, but it gave me another opportunity to worship my Jesus. Look for Him in everything. Let the most undesirable circumstances in your life show you Jesus.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)