(Don't) Take Some Initiative

A major component of growing up is learning to take initiative. Kids complain to their moms that they're starving to death only to hear their mom reply, "Then get up and get something to eat." Athletes complain to their coach that they want more playing time only to hear their coach say, "Then get yourself to practice early and show me you deserve it." In the world, successful people are defined as those who see what they want and do whatever it takes to get it, regardless of the cost to themselves and those around them.

In my own life, I have seen my desire to take initiative, to make things happen, slowly creep into my walk with Christ. When I see a situation that I feel needs to change, I pray about it, wait 5 seconds, and then jump in to see how I can best alter my circumstances. When I feel that God needs to step in somewhere, I pray about it, give it a minute, and then jump in to give him a hand. I fear that God is not going to take initiative so I choose not to wait on him.

The strange thing is that any time God has ever done anything for man, he took the initiative. I didn't think at the foundation of time, "Hey. You know what you should do Lord? You should create the world and everything in it." I didn't blow the whistle 2,000 years ago and ask him to send his son to come and save mankind. I didn't ask him to find me almost 18 years ago and invite me into relationship with him. He did that. While I was still weak, Christ died for the ungodly. While I was still a slave to fear and sin, Jesus made a way for me to be free. Sometimes I look at my life and I think, "How are you going to work this out Lord? How are you going to get me from where I am today to where I need to be tomorrow?" When I don't see clearly how God is going to move things around on my behalf, I panic and start moving myself around. I forget that he will take the initiative. When I see someone I care about in a place I think they should move on from, I move in to move them. I forget that God knows how to take initiative.

The really, really scary thing about my not-so-little self-initiative problem is that it is a control problem. It's an idolatry problem. I am actually taking Jesus off the throne of my heart, telling him he is not big enough or wise enough or good enough, and taking a seat somewhere that belongs to him. Psalm 127 says, "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builder builds in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives his beloved sleep." My controlling is in vain. Whatever I build is in vain if it is the work of my own hands. Whatever I guard so vigilantly is not safe if it is under my protection and not the Lord's. Whatever I try so hard to keep is exactly what I am sure to lose if it has not been given me by God. 

So I ask, Lord, what do I do now? And he responds in all of his love, "Nothing."