It's a trendy quote. When I first read it, I fell in love with it because it rang so true in my own heart. What this quote fails to mention, however, is just how restless you feel when part of your heart is always elsewhere. It fails to mention, too, that there is a longing deep inside of you to always be somewhere other than where you are. Dangerous stuff.
This week is Fall Break for Oral Roberts University. I had been counting down the days until I would be able to return here to see my family and friends that I have been missing so deeply. My plane landed in Houston last Friday night and I could hardly wait for the other passengers to grab their bags so that I could run off of the plane and see my family. All I had been thinking about for weeks was finally having the opportunity to be at home. The time that I have spent here has been so sweet. I have loved seeing my mom and dad and spending time with my friends. But here I am a day before my flight back to Tulsa and I find myself saying that I am ready to head home. My heart longs to be somewhere I am not.
So where is my home, really? If home is where the heart is, I think it's safe to say I'd fit right in with a clan of nomads. My heart has the ability to be in Juarez, Rio, Lima, Tulsa, and Houston all in the same day. Let me tell you, it is hard to feel at home when your heart is being pulled in five different directions at once. It creates an extreme feeling of restlessness. It threatens peace with an overwhelming sense of discontentment. Restlessness and discontentment are not two words that I desire to characterize my life. So what am I supposed to do? I can't forget about my friends in Lima. I can't un-see the faces of the people on the streets of Rio. I can't quench the love I have for a city on the border of Mexico. I can't pretend that my family doesn't live Texas while I reside in Tulsa with people I also call family. The only answer is to find a permanent residence for my heart. But where?
There is but one consistent thing in my life. There is but one thing that I can count on day after day. There is but one thing in heaven and on earth that does not change with the seasons, nor come and go with the changing of the tides. I find a home for my homeless heart in the hands of my faithful God. It is too exhausting to live being tossed around always wishing for something not within my reach. Life demands too much to not have a place to call home at the end of the day. I chose to make my place of rest, my home, in His presence. This does not mean I will love any less. This does not mean I will not carry a burden for the people who have captured my heart. This means that I am content, I am at rest, and I am secure in my Father.
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